To celebrate a life ended

Setting a spirit free

A few short months ago, my Aunt and namesake died. From diagnosis of cancer to her death took three months, and in that time I watched her eaten away by the illness. When events like this happen to those we love, it becomes harder to remember good times. When she died, I was left to clear her home, deal with her affairs, redistribute her possessions and prepare a funeral. There was no-one else to do this, all other family being too ill or distant. My time, therefore was fully occupied 'doing things'. I had little time to think or feel. Now most of this is passed, I have made time to say goodbye in my own way. A ritual to give me peace and free her spirit.

Last night, I went into the farmer's field at the top of the hill. There wasn't a breath of wind. I lit a chinese lantern and said my goodbye to Ursula. I watched the light until it ascended into the clouds, and then I gave myself space and time to cry for the love which she had shown me all my life, and I would miss.

Adding words to the ritual

When a loved one dies, it is important not to get so caught up in the practicalities of death and dying that we forget to mourn the person. When they die, a ritual which helps is to light a candle before a photograph of that person and to talk to them in your mind. Do this whenever you need them. Do this for your connection with them. You will notice after a few months that you no longer need the candle or the photograph to focus your mind on the objective of the ritual - that person is now with you in spirit. With you in your heart and you can still hear and talk to them when you need to. When you can do this you will know that you have allowed them to move on to a new way of being, but your relationship with them remains.

Comment on my clothing. Yes, I know I look like a mad pixie, but hey, it would have amused my aunt to see me look like that.


Respect your ancestors. They are part of your story too.